


Until We Meet Again

by plofu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-10-17 04:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10586589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plofu/pseuds/plofu
Summary: Mike survives but is severely injured and bed ridden. His wife who he has been separated from for almost eight years hears of this and decides to go and see him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> READ PLEASE:
> 
> Soooooo…..I had this idea looonnngg ago when I read the manga and watching THAT on screen animated and HEARING IT holy shit it reminded me of it sooo here it is.
> 
> I think there should be one "happy ending" story for Mike. Just saying.
> 
> No, nobody saw the beast titan, lets just say in this scenario Mike passed out after a titan tore his arm, the beast titan assumes he’s dead and orders the others to leave him. They still did more than break his legs though. And the team finds him early the next morning barely alive.
> 
>  Also she is the same age as Mike, a few months older than him but they were both born the same year.
> 
> (She is kinda Tsundere. She is a reader-insert but is pretty much based off my SNK OC who is Mikes wife that was in the scouts but left after Seamus did to be an MP.)  
> Its fan fiction okay? So its not going to be super accurate.  
> ——

There he was.

In a private hospital room with a large window, its curtains keeping the room dim. Other than the size of the man she didn't recognize him. Over half his body was bandaged with his left arm in a sling and legs covered with bed sheets. Even his neck was in a cast..

Slowly and carefully she walked closer until she stood at the foot of the sleeping mans bed. What felt like hours, but was really several minutes, she just stood observing the rise and fall of his hairy chest that was almost covered in either bandages or bruises.

_Why am I here?_

She continued to stare, seeing his overgrown beard which she hated. He was so…hairy… they shaved some of his head but not his face. The blonde mixing with silver reminded her of their age. Secretly happy no light hairs had appeared on her. Finally deciding to speak in her authoritative voice to him.

"Mike? Is that you?"

(Y/n) walked to the right side standing over his face, running her index finger softly over the top of his nose, confirming that it was Mike in the bed all bandaged up.

"God damn it." She said as she sat herself on the edge with her back to him making sure not to touch his body. Massaging her temples she closed her eyes confused. Part of her wanted to be angry at him for getting so injured to the point he couldn't even move another very odd feeling came over her also. She wanted to cry and sob and hold him like a woman she would scoff at her dramatic behavior.

The last feeling that swam in her stomach told her to leave for she had no business being there. He was none of her concern.

(Y/n) wanted to pull that emotions out of her gut and strangle it with her bare hands.

* * *

 

**The evening was cool and clear as she sat on the highest roof of the base they were in, feeling calm and relaxed staring at the bright stars and singing to herself.**

**Her voice was suddenly stopped when she felt a rough prickly feeling on her ear followed by the inhale of a nose causing her to raise and quickly swing her fist that was swiftly caught by the man behind her.**

**"Surprise." Mike said humored by her shook state she soon yanked away from him.**

**"Don't you have anything better to do?" She said as he sat his large body next to her smaller self.**

**"Why aren't you with everyone else? I'm sure they'd enjoy your lovely voice before tomorrow." Mike asked as he brushed her long hair away from her face before she slapped his hand away.**

**"I hate singing in front of people you know that, besides, I always prefer my solitude whenever I have the chance to enjoy it."**

**He stared at her before looking up at the stars.**

**"Tomorrow we're finally going out there."**

**"We? I'm fortunate to not be on your team." (Y/n) scoffed, having no real feeling about her first expedition outside the walls.**

**"We can't all be placed on an advanced squad our first day Miss. Perfect." Mike said poking her side.**

**"Shut up, you could be on a more advanced team if you would quit goofing off. The only reason I graduated above you is because someone could never turn in their written assignments."**

**"Thats why I have you, I wouldn't have been number two had you not done them for me. When are you going to admit that you care for me (Y/n) ?" Mike grabbed her and forced her to his chest as she attempted to remove herself, she was becoming to sleepy to fight him that evening so she just stayed limp and angry.**

**"Never! And I don't you giant oaf!" Finally Mike allowed her to push away for the moment admiring her face in the moonlight.**

**"Are you scared?" He asked.**

**"Why would I be?" She spat back annoyed that she now smelled of him. (Y/n) was used to him but she still was annoyed how he liked pushing her buttons.**

**"We're finally going to see them in the flesh."**

**"So what?" (Y/n) knew he was speaking about the titans. She had no real expectation other than a nervous curiosity of what will happen.**

**"We may not come back."**

**"Thats what we signed up for. If you want to live then you should have gone to the MP's or Garrison."**

**"I was meaning to ask you about that." He sat next to her causing a huge shadow from the moonlight, then squeezing her hand.**

**"I know your afraid, you become angry when afraid." She** **attempted to pull away but his grip was worse than death.**

**"You make me angry and I'm certainly not afraid of you!" Mike gave a warm smile at her reply.**

**"Thats nice to know."**

**Mike kept smiling sweetly while she pouted finally giving (Y/n) her hand back.**

**"Hmm, I'm feeling lucky.** **I was hoping to have a wager with you."**

**"Wager?" (Y/n) raised a brow at him.**

**"If we both make it back alive...the one with the most injuries has to do whatever the one with the least injuries ask them to."**

**"Your such a child. Grow up already." She scoffed at him.**

**"What? Afraid you'll lose?" He taunted the already annoyed girl.**

**"I would never lose to you Michel!" She stated loudly.**

**"Hey, only my mother is allowed to say my full name." (Y/n) looked away from him, not sure what she wanted. She didn't need anything from Mike other than for him to stop teasing her temper every chance he had.**

**"Fine. If I win. Which I will, you have to take me out to all the taverns." Mike smiled getting his face close to her own.**

**"Alright. I would have done that anyway." He whispered before (Y/n) pushed his prickly cheek away from her smooth one.**

**"Yeah, but your paying for me and Hanji." His smile soon**   **disappeared before turning into a smug smirk.**

**"Oh. Well, I am feeling lucky so if I win... You have to marry me and take my name (Y/n)."**

**There was a silence that overtook them, before (Y/n) nearly woke the entire base up with her yelling.**

**"HUH?!"**

**"Also you have to wear a dress."**

* * *

Opening her eyes (Y/n) was confused as to why she was remembering the night Mike had proposed to her. She didn't like to think about her former life before being a Military Police. She tried everyday to ignore thought and memories of them both. Even though she kept his name.

They were still married even after eight years of being apart, their marriage being a well kept secret from the scouts other than from a few close acquaintances. Her former commander Keith, along with Nile, Hanji, Levi and Erwin were the last ones left alive that knew about it. Being that Hanji had had a file delivered to her office. Not being too happy with any of them due to the female titan, she had almost tossed it in the trash.

Her mind wandering she went back to looking at the injured man that was 

Without thought, (Y/n) lifted up the thick beige sheets covering his legs. Instantly then she dropped to her knees when seeing the damage. All she saw was red, purple (that looked more like black) and the thick wooden splints keeping his huge limbs in place. Her heart raced and eyes watered as she held her hand to her heaving mouth.

It was horrifying. Taking a deep breath, closing her eyes and getting up and covering his injuries back with the sheet, then sitting on the edge observing his face. Seeing old lines and new ones, trying to find any old freckles in his flushed complexion.

He stunk of various antiseptics making her nostrils almost burn.

“Visiting hours are over miss.” A plump younger looking nurse said as she came in with a tray of medicines and bandages.

“I'm here on special business.” (Y/n) said holding up her identification that showed her MP title.

“Oh, Im sorry!” The nurse yelped at the woman. She rushed to the opposite side of the bed nervously, believing she interrupted some private intimate moment but still needed to do her job.

“How is he?” (Y/n) asked as she sat her hand on the exposed skin of his chest to assure herself that his heart was still beating.

“Just hanging in there. Miraculous to see him still alive and responsive. We have to induce sleep around this time otherwise he becomes restless from the pain so Im sorry if you wanted to speak to him.”

“What happened?” (Y/n) knew what happened, it was all mostly in the files that were delivered to her from a certain squad leader.

“I can’t say really…they brought him in with his legs completely mangled. His arm made some of the older nurses want to faint.”

“Faint?” She observed the nurse unwrapping part of his arm, which is when she noticed the yellowish bandages underneath

“Yes. It was hanging from his shoulder…the other soldiers had wrapped him up with their jackets so it was troubling to have it nearly come off when we removed it.”

Suddenly out of a strange old instinct, (Y/n) grabbed his free hand with both of hers massaging the rough calloused palm as a distraction on the thought going through her mind. His large hand was cold. Too cold for her comfort.  Kneading at the rough flesh she glanced over to the covered limbs she didn't want to think about all over again.

“His legs…will he…” (Y/n) had never been so lost for words.

“Are you wondering if he will be able to walk?” The nurse asked hearing the concern in the MP womans voice.

(Y/n) nodded, hearing a heavy sigh come out of the nurse that had her pressing her thumbs into the hard callouses of Mikes large hands she found warming up quickly.

“It’s unlikely. If he does walk he would need crutches or a cane. Either way, it may take some months or even a year for his legs to heal completely. Much of the bone below the knee was shattered but luckily his spine wasn’t.”

(Y/n) said nothing but continued to stare at the lines of his hand. Then stopping when hearing the shuffling of the containers.

“What is all that for?” Asking about the tray of various sized bottles and being a bit suspicious, there had been rumors long ago how severely injured soldiers would be secretly put down to not waste any of the Survey Corps funds. Though they were only rumors.

“Pain, sleeping,antibiotics. Considering his height and weight he needs more than an average patient. He has woken up screaming which is not pleasant at all for us to calm down a severely injured man with frightening strength like himself.”

“Screaming? From pain?” Mike? Screaming? This was all too strange, (Y/n) began questioning if this bandaged up man was Mike. The nurse finished wrapping his arm back up.

“No, nightmares. We believe from whatever monster had done this to him. He is calmer with his comrades here, but has not spoken to them.” (Y/n) stared blankly.

Nightmares?! Who is this guy?! 

_He's your husband that you abandoned._

* * *

**"Why do you want to marry me Mike?" (Y/n) asked as she brushed her horse while having her dominant arm in a sling. Luckily she hadn't broken it, just dislocated the elbow painfully. Mike coming back the same way as how he left. Though she didn't show it, her mind was shaken from her first** **expedition. Confused and questioning her decision to join the scouts; she had never felt so grateful to have Mike with her still. The idea of death never bothered her, but the pointlessness of her current occupation kept swirling in her mind.**

**"I always wanted a wife. Most women don't want a scout for a husband so...I see it better to marry someone in the scouts. Besides , we've known each other for years."**

**"So I'm just a convenience for your little fantasy?" She asked in a mocking tone.**

**"No. You're the love of my life remember?" He embraced her tightly from behind forcing the air out of her much shorter self. Reacting quickly, (y/n) fell to her knees having Mike flip over onto his back, then rising back up swiftly and staring down at him.**

**"Ugh. Quit saying that before I bust your lip open again. Fine. We'll be married, I'll take your last name thats impossible to spell but no-one is to know other than whatever witness' we need at the ceremony."**

**"Hmmm, alright. Can I pick out your dress?" He asked gazing up at her from the ground.**

**"No."**

* * *

A month passed as (Y/n) visited more and more frequently making sure she never ran into any older scout veterans. Always wearing a casual outfit. She nearly passed out when Levi and Erwin walked down the hall but was glad they hadn't noticed her at all.

She would sit to watch Mike sleep. Making sure his bed was clean, even bringing him pillows of hers. Making sure nurses and doctors didn't try poisoning him and giving them her freighting scowl when they insulted him or his (and her former) branch.

After a while she brought a stool and usually caught up on her work or read. The day she was emerged in paperwork on the floor, a hoarse voice made her jump spilling the tea she had next to her all over the scattered files. Seeing Mike lean slightly over the edge of his bed.

"I thought I was dreaming, I didn't really think it was you all this time."

He stared with the only eye that wasn't covered from the bandages, trying to sit up was too painful so he soon fell back. She rose up from the floor and sat on the edge looking away from him staring at the stained papers on the floor she would need to dry by tomorrow morning. She was close enough that his free hand was able to touch her elbow.

"Why are you here?" He asked, his voice strained and hushed.

"Hanji." She quietly stated with her hand to her mouth, wishing he had stayed asleep.

* * *

**"You may kiss the bride."**

**Mike looked down at (Y/n) as she stared up at him, her face even more itchy now from the makeup and sweat. Nobody knew, not even Mike, that (Y/n) had never kissed a man her entire 17 years of life. Not that anyone didn't try (particularly Mike), but she had never been to fond of anyone to be that intimate.**

**"Come on some of us have to get back to our post!" Nile yelled out after showing up the last minute not believing Erwin who casually told him about the small private wedding ceremony between their friend Mike and the girl who always seemed to hate him.**

**Not sure what to do, (Y/n) looked up at Mike with dewey eyes until he pulled her close to him and dipped her into a deep, passionate kiss with her body tight against his and his arms wrapped around the lowest part of her back.**

**"Woahhhh Mike! Wait until you get to the bedroom!" Nile hollered causing the few people in the room to chuckle.**

  **It wasn't until he attempted to stick his tongue into her mouth that (Y/n) stepped on his toes causing him to back away with a pained smile. (Y/n) was red all over but soon relaxed feeling not too disgusted by her first kiss.**

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

  
**The ceremony lasted less than an hour. With a few of their friends congratulating them afterwards and going back to the base.**

  
**Mike and (Y/n) never acted like a couple. They hardly acted like friends.**

**The night of their wedding they hadn’t even consummated the marriage. Mike had only asked (Y/n) if she would like to sleep with him in his room at the base. Which she agreed to on their walk back after they returned her rented dress.**

**He had held her close to him sleeping like a baby as she stared at him half the night with the most peculiar sensation in her.**

* * *

“You look good.” He said staring at her with lidded eyes. (Y/n) had become older like him, but was still as beautiful as the day he met her. It was only her eyes that seemed to bother him. Instead of that fiery glare he fell for they still held that empty sadness from the last time they were alone together. Mike didn't think he could still be attracted to the woman who broke his heart.

He had the strong urge to feel her long hair through his fingers and smell it; he remembers it smelling crisp and reminding him of an unripe pear with the subtle scent. Most girls he liked or found attractive had an overly sweet feminine smell to them, but she never did. Which is why he separated her so much from ordinary women. (Y/n) never had her hair short even when they were cadets; she kept it in a long braid and was one of the lucky few who saw it out of the tight braid. It had always been his favorite, even with everyone urging her to cut it she refused. Claiming she would look like a man; but he knew she enjoyed being in control and proving that hair wasn't a burden or obstacle to her.

“I wish I could say the same for you.” (Y/n) turned away from him, feeling really nervous. Seeing him talk and move was so surreal. She never would think to have another private conversation with him especially with him so injured.

“Ha. Do I really look as bad as I smell?” Mike asked her jokingly, still trying to act nonchalant about his miserable physical state.

“No…you…”

“Don’t.” He stopped her after hearing the crack in her throat.

“What?” She widened her glossy eyes.

“If your going to start crying leave.” He said annoyed closing his eyes, he really didn’t need a woman crying for him. Even if it was his estranged wife.

“Make me.” (Y/n) responded bitterly, challenging Mike to get up and throw her out.

“Why are you here?” Mike asked.

“I just…I had to see if it was true.” 

“If what was true?”

“That you were hurt really bad.” Her voice was now a soft whisper.

“Why would it matter to you?” Mike snapped a bit harsher than he meant.

“I don’t know.” She responded and he sighed.

“Well, Im grateful to have a visitor not pressing me for questions.” 

“I really don’t want to know how this happened.” (Y/n) knew it was titans...if she was inclined to ask a question she would ask how Mike was still alive and speaking to her.

“Thanks. I honestly can’t remember most of it.” 

They went back to looking away from each other as (Y/n) gathered her things deciding to leave. Feeling she overstayed her visit. Mike was making a pained face, obviously frustrated with his immobile condition and she knew the stench of the hospital was most likely burning his nostrils giving him a headache.

“Uhmm, do you need anything?” (Y/n) asked him before getting ready to head off.

“I’m really thirsty.”

“Oh, here.” She handed him the water from the small table realizing he could barely move and standing frozen seeing if the nurse would be back until he interrupted her thoughts of whether she was to help him drink.

“I don’t want water.” He said with a small smile. (Y/n) recognized that smile, he wanted her to give him something only she could.

“Well what do you want?”

Mike closed his eyes sighing and trying to get comfortable before answering her.

“Mmmm….bourbon.”

* * *

**The rain fell heavily that dark evening. Shadis having placed (Y/n) and Mike to keep lookout together in the high trees.**

**That night was the darkest of any, being pitch black from the unexpected storm clouds blocking any star or moonlight.**

**It was their third expedition after the second one had ended two weeks earlier then planned. Both still alive and in a single piece and Mike having had many kills the higher ups commended his strength. (Y/n) was admired by her team and commander for keeping a steady head and improvising when things didn't end up as planned.**

**(Y/n) had been somber that past week after seeing her friend Thalia be killed. She had been her last close female friend so she was happy to still have Mike with her.**

**“Hey Mike? Are you awake?” (Y/n) said into the darkness.**

**“Nope.” Mike responded with closed eyes, he hadn't smelled any titans close for hours and was waiting for their shift to be over.**

**“I have a question for you.”**

**“Shoot.”**

**“Why do you love me?” She asked having Mike open his eyes to the darkness seeing a bit of her dimming lamp.**

**“Your asking now?”**

**“I was just wondering. Ive never been the nicest of people. Remember our first year in training? You loudly declared your love for me humiliating me in front of everyone, I nearly killed you. I also thought it was a joke until you kept following me everywhere.”**

**“Love can’t really be explained. Not my love for you anyway.” He answered with a yawn.**

**“But why me?”**

**“Hmmm. I didn’t choose you. If I could choose who to be in love with I’d have a more openly affection girl with me.”**

**She didn't know how to respond to that.**

**“Your beautiful. I like beautiful women like any other man. After observing you from afar I knew you were mine.”**

**“Yours?” (Y/n) raised a brow at the title her husband had given her.**

**“Yes. When I smell you I feel as if I am in some sort of euphoric state. Your scent is…baffling. Strong and alluring. Made for me and me alone.”**

**It was silent again, only the noise of heavy rain against the trees and ground, until (Y/n) let out a loud laugh.**

**“Your such a freak.” She sighed into the cool air.**

**“And your the wife of a freak.” He smiled. “In time I am sure you’ll learn to love this freak.”**

**“Maybe.” She responded with a silly smile (Y/n) was glad nobody was around to see.**

**“I just hope to live long enough to experience your love (Y/n).”**

**-**

**-**

  
_**No.** _

_**No.** _

_**No.** _

_**Damn you!** _

_**You monster!** _

_**I’m going to end your miserable existence right here and now even if it kills me!** _

 

-

-

  
**"Mike?" (Y/n) watched as Mike was loaded into the back of the last remaining wagon by his squad alongside another injured man.**

**"Mike..." She felt her mouth tremble.**

**"Come on (Y/n)! We have to get out of here!"**

**-**

**-**

**"Erwin told me how you saved me...and were crying like a baby over me the entire time back." Mike had been** **laying back in his bed of the empty infirmary with his head wrapped up while (Y/n) lay next to him holding him close to her with her head on his hairy chest. She was able to sneak out of her room without waking her roommate.**

**_I'm going to rip off his left eyebrow when he's asleep._ **

**"I was not...it just was all so overwhelming. Seeing my squad captain die while shouting orders at me, then to have you get knocked out by the tree and almost swallowed...uh." (Y/n) felt her mouth tremble again and turned away from Mike as hot tears slid out of her eyes uncontrollably. She hated crying in front of anybody even if it was Mike and her only in his room.**

**"Awww...I guess my wife does like me." He pulled her close to him burying his nose in her neck**

**"Yeah. Your nice. Like my parents were. Your also the only one who likes me the way I am. Everyone else wants me to be less myself, to be less aggressive and scary they say." (Y/n) said, surprising even herself with her honesty from her vulnerable shaken state.**

**"Who says your scary?"** **Mike breathed into her neck.**

**"Rita still does and Thalia used to say it too even if she was my friend. She said boys don't like girls like that."**

**"Well...you have a man now so your days chasing boys are over. At least until I'm dead." He laughed kissing her damp cheek.**

**"I don't want you to die." She cupped his face feeling very small and looking at him up close. His hazel eyes looking very dark at the moment. They had shaved his head to treat the small opening the hit with the tree caused, but he still had his facial hair he was too proud of.**

**"(Y/n)" He frowned. They were both now survey corps** **members. Although he did love her, he didn't like her thinking so much about their inevitable deaths that could happen at any day.**

**"I know. But...I don't know." Mike then kissed her while moving her from her side to her back settling himself between her legs.**

**"Let's just enjoy our time with each other while we're together now." (Y/n)s eyes widened as he began kissing bellow her neck.**

**"Uh, Mike, I've never..." She stiffened as Mikes hands pulled down her pants, feeling butterflies swimming in her stomach. Her face getting hot. (Y/n) knew she was going to end up giving herself to Mike but never thought about when it would happen.**

**"I know. Why else would you have had a white dress? Besides, your too scary...for boys anyway."**

**-**

**-**

 

**After their first time together, Mikes affection became more frequent and intimate to the point (Y/n) would often be up against a wall or find herself behind a bush or in the horse stables with him.**

**Being young elite soldiers living for the moments they had, neither one of them took the time to consider the consequences of their actions.**

 

* * *

 

 "Ah! Fuck!"

 

"What the hell Mike?!" (Y/n) had ran back from getting him his dinner after hearing the loud thud from the end of the hallway.

"I guess that little nurse wasn't lying." Mike sighed settling himself on the floor. His arm was still aching and that fall made it worse.

 "My legs are useless." His voice sounding sad, (Y/n) kneeled down making sure he didn't open any wounds or knock anything out of place.

"At least they didn't need to cut them off after that infection scare. And its only been 6 months." She mentioned to him trying to reassure him that his situation wasn't so awful.

"What the hell am I going to do?" Mike asked her grabbing at her wrist roughly with his giant hand, wanting to know what use was his life if he couldn't go and fight for the cause he dedicated his life to. His eyes were glossy with a mix of fright, denial and confusion.

"There are always...office things... to be done..." (Y/n) mentioned, not knowing what answer he wanted from her.

Mike tilts his head frowning, giving her the look of " _Thats not funny_ ".

She helped him get back on the bed, he had lost too much weight making (Y/n) more nervous for his recovery. Mike was getting better, he could move around and wasn't covered all over with bandages. Just his legs and left arm, while the nurses had taken the sling off his arms but continued to firmly had it wrapped in place.

After settling him back down, (Y/n) went to get him his meal she had ordered for him specifically.

"Here, eat all of it this time." She placed the tray in front of him, he hadn't had an appetite all the months he had been hospitalized 

"I was supposed to die out there." He said to her as she made sure he had everything.

"I know."

"You were supposed to also." Mike added as (Y/n)s expression remained stoic with a hint of annoyance.

"Life doesn't always go as expected, now shut up and eat." She told him as she took out a container from her bag and began to spread its contents on the bread he was given.

"I've been dreaming of you." Mike told her as she handed him the buttered bread to stuff into his mouth, he took it from her and set it back on the tray much to her displeasure. 

"I thought of you before I passed out, thinking I was finishing bleeding out ready to die." His voice had lowered, (Y/n) waved her hand not wanting to hear any of it but was going to allow him to finish until he shifted the subject.

"I wondered if you felt the same way that day..."

Suddenly (Y/n) shot up from where she sat glaring at him so intensely her eyes seemed to glow. Mike knew she swore him never to speak about that day. It was the tragedy that began separating them to the point they decided to cut off communication when (Y/n) was able to transfer to the Military Police. 

(Y/n) had her hands in fists so tight her fingers began to blanch.

"I think enough time has passed that we should talk about it like we should have all those years ago."

She quickly stormed out of the room.

_-_

_-_

_How could he? How could he bring it up? He promised! Here I am being nice and spending all my free time with him!_

(Y/n) slammed her fist into the outside wall of the hospital hearing the loud cracking of her knuckles.

_You promised to never leave him._

She wrapped her arms around herself feeling her abdomen burn.

_I'm over it? Aren't I? It happened. There's nothing to talk about! I handled the bitch and made peace with it all why hadn't he?!_

"Captain!" (Y/n) snapped her head up and straightened her posture hearing the familiar voice.

"Olivia? What are you doing here?" She asked the red head who looked to have been running around.

"We were looking for you! Commander Dok needs your signature and to hand in something. Are you okay? Were you picking up medicine or something?"

"Yeah lets go." (Y/n) managed to bring her voice back into the commanding tone that had her subordinates tucking in their shirts and staying in line.

* * *

 

  
-  
-  
**"Damn it."**

 **(Y/n) coughed trying not to use too much of her remaining water to rinse out her mouth. It was so hot she had taken off her jacket and soon her over shirt needing to** **adjust her straps again. Interrupted soon by nausea causing her to vomit the bit of breakfast she had. She then herd one of her squad members, Lyna, run up towards were she went to change.**

**"Captain hurry up! The other squads are leaving!" She yelled anxiously noticing her captains heavy breathing.**

**"Are you alright captain? Should I get the medic?" Lyna asked worried.**

**"No. No its fine. I'm okay. It's probably just dehydration. How can you stand this heat?"**

**"Its no warmer than yesterday."**  
**-**

-

**"Fucking finally we're back."**

**(Y/n) exclaimed out loud earning a look from Lyna who had never heard her squad captain curse. Nor had Lyna ever seen her captain look so worn out. Lyna then was frowning at some unpleasant remarks thrown at them by** **civilians.**

_**Stupid people. I feel dizzy. Must be the heat. I need to rest against you Rajah.** _

**(Y/n) let her head fall against her horses mane before completely falling limp off of him onto the dirt road.**  
**-**

-

**After waking up in the bases infirmary and a long scolding from the nurse. (Y/n) had been in a state of shock as she nervously walked to and began knocking on the door of the last person she wanted to see.**

**"Hello. Sir." (Y/n) attempted to sound sweet as the door opened but she knew Shadis could sense bullshit from miles away. She had never been a sweet girl anyway.**

**"Sit down." He sternly said to her, she did as told and waited for** **whatever punishment he had planned. (Y/n) never got in trouble, so she had no idea what to expect. Once she overheard Shadis talking to other higher-ups during dinner calling her an elite and as great as her late father. Though he would deny it to the ends of the earth.**

**"Why in the hell would you go on an expedition pregnant?" He said, the anger clear in his voice.**

**"How did you--"  
**

**"Well, when a squad captain falls off her horse we don't just leave her there to drag her unconscious pregnant self to the** **infirmary." He yelled tossing a medical onto his desk.**

**"I didn't know...." She looked down at her scuffed boots wishing she was in her room polishing them.**

**"How?" The commander raises a brow at her.**

**"I kinda didn't know or think I could get pregnant." She said, still trying to get used to the word. This was not something she planned or wanted.**

**"Well. I'm suspending you from your position." Shadis calmed down going back to his stern tone.**

**"Huh!? You can't do that! Its only been my second expedition leading!" (Y/n) got up from her seat angry but soon sat down seeing Shadis' death glare from his amber eyes.**

**"I'm your commander, which if you forgot, you do as I say or else! You risked everyones lives even more including your own, also the life of whatever you have growing in your womb."**

**"Aghhhhh what the hell???" She covered her reddening face. Wishing he had left out mentioning her body parts. Taking a deep breath before responding.**

**"We completed our duties and I only passed out when we arrived back! We didn't lose anymore people than normal." She reminded him knowing he was more disappointed in her than angry.**

**Shadis got up placing his hand on her shoulder. (Y/n) jumped at the jester but soon relaxed realizing he was trying to be understanding as impossible as it seemed for him**. **He had a soft spot for the girl, like a protective uncle. (Y/n) being the daughter of his old deceased friend he was a cadet with what felt like a lifetime ago. She looked just like him, having his same face and intense eyes, once Shadis accidentally called her by her fathers name during training.**

**"Calm down. It's no use for you to get so upset. I said you were suspended not banned for life. At least until you have that child." He calmly told her. She snapped her head up realizing one of her options.**

**"What if I get rid of it?" (Y/n) said a bit too excitedly. Shadis raised both eyebrows and scratched the back of his head, not sure what to say, never having had to deal with a pregnant squad leader.**

**"Hmm. Well. Hopefully you take the father into consideration of that decision."**

* * *

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and bookmark people <3.
> 
> Leave a comment if you can whether it be good or bad, I won't take it personally or anything, as long as you let me know what you think.

**He was gone.**

**It took (Y/n) another two days to tell him, which he said nothing and walked away from her. His hair had grown past his eyes again so his expression was even more impossible to read.**

**"He had an emergency to take care of. Is what he told me.” Erwin said as he did pull ups.**

**“So, he just took his horse and left?” She angrily had her arms crossed.**

**“He can’t really leave, its a military horse.”**

**"Straighten your elbows more eyebrows, unless you want that cramp again." (Y/n) said storming off.**

**-**

**-**

**Two Days Later**

**"Hey, where the hell have you been!? I tell you about our little problem and you just take off without a word?!" (Y/n) yelled after finding Mike feeding his horse in the stables after not seeing or hearing from him two days after telling him about their situation.**

**Saying nothing, Mike looked down at her. Still feeding his horse. He was wearing casual attire and looked somewhat** **handsome.**

**“Your going to go and live with my sister.” Mike interrupted as though he was giving an order.**

**“What?” (Y/n) asked confused at what he had just said.**

**“If your suspended you can’t live at the base. And I don’t think your girls orphanage will let you stay with them.”**

**“You want me to keep it?” She had her eyes wide at the thought of carrying the baby to full term.**

**“Yes, I also don’t care if you don’t. Your having it.” Mike sternly told her.**

**“And if I refuse?” (Y/n) narrowed her eyes, annoyed at him ordering her around, she soon jumped in surprise as he grabbed her by the shoulders pulling her towards him. Mike then had his face as close as he could be to hers, with the tip of his nose touching her own.**

**“I’ll tie you up and drag you there.” He said with his deep voice low. He almost looked scary to (Y/n).**

**Almost. She shoved him away.**

**"The commander said I could stay until I began showing."**

**"I'd prefer you go before you start showing."**

**"Oh what, so nobody is aware that you knocked me up?" She stated angrily, having Mike come close to her so he could whisper in her ear.**

**"I think they all are aware of us from that high pitched whine you did that evening when everyone was out in the---"**

**"SHUT UP! Okay fine!"**

**-**

**-**

**(Y/n) and Mike had taken her horse passed town and left him in the stables of a generous breeder that agreed to watch the horse as they began walking down a dirt road that never seemed to end. (Y/n) nearly going mad as to why they couldn't just take the horse with them. Mike telling her that the town he was from didn't take kindly to horses, dogs, cats or any animal that wasn't going to be food. Which (Y/n) found really odd but was more annoyed that they were walking in the agonizing heat that never seemed to bother Mike.**

**"Ahhh we've been walking for two hours Mike! We're in the middle of nowhere! Are you going to kill me like that rich guy did to his pregnant mistress?"**

**Mike laughed, a good two feet ahead of (Y/n) who began her silent treatment an hour ago but now she couldn't seem to stand not being able to be angry with anybody.**

**"Your my wife. I may be a freak but not a lunatic. Also I'm not rich. Also I couldn't kill you if I tried."**

**"Who said your a freak? I'll kick their ass like I did to Hector." (Y/n) began kicking the dirt, her sark boots becoming dusty.**

**"Huh, I thought his bruise looked familiar." He said as he turned his gaze at the sky, seeing the sun high and bright, then looking down at (Y/n) who was slouching, sweating, with her shirt tight at the midriff, her usually firm tummy began bloating out slightly.**

**"My feet hurt, also my pants are tight, also I'm really damn thirsty." She whined, she never would complain in front of anybody but Mike had ticked her off with not letting her know about the never ending walk she wanted him to be equally miserable. But he never faltered, he was sweating slightly and she couldn't help but notice his tan had evened out.**

_**Stupid females thoughts! Damn it! Why am I so horny? Stupid Mike, why do you have to be not hideous like other** _ **_guys? This is all your fault! I could be getting ready for the next expedition, breaking my push up record, or sleeping or eating without barfing! But nope. I'm here miserable with you! I wonder if any random passerby would notice us in that tall grass..._ **

**She had to grind her teeth at the ridiculous thoughts she kept having.**

**"Okay, here we go." Mike lifted her up bridal style, which she did not like at all being lifted so she kicked around and hit his chest until really she didn't have the energy to have him drop her.**

**"Ugh."**

**"We're having a baby." He said after she relaxed in his arms.**

**"No, I'm having a baby Mr. Still-gets-to-be-a-scout-and-go-on-expeditons." (Y/n) had crossed her arms, leaning into Mike.**

**"Are you scared?"**

**"No shit, I'm meeting your sister who I never knew you even had. There's another human growing in me against my will. And I have no idea where we are."**

**Mike didn't say anything for a while, looking at her and chuckling after several minutes.**

**"I meant about me not being there for you and the baby."**

**"I don't know." She shrugged not wanting to think about the reality of their future.**

**"It has made me melancholic."**

**"Hmm." She hummed picking at her nails.**

**"Do you love me my little bärchen?"**

**Mike asked nuzzling his face close to her own, her** **eyes lazily looking into his own.**

**"Why are you asking that now?" (Y/n) pouted.**

**"You only ever say it to me when we make love."**

**"Why should I say it any other time?"**

**It was quiet again for awhile as he continued to walk and carry her. (Y/n) didn't enjoy being openly affection as much as he did. She also felt that saying the 'L' word would in a way curse him and her to have a tragic end. He didn't look upset or anything, he was impossible to read even for someone as sharp as her.**

**"I dont lie. So obviously I mean it when I say it. Where are we anyway?" She broke the silence desperately wanting to change the subject.**

**"It's a lumber town. When I was young nobody but my family and another family lived there. But it's really big now with shops and buildings." He said with a small smile.**

**"Look a Windmill! We're here finally! Its so freaking hot." She cheered up so quick she grabbed onto his neck to keep herself from falling from his arms.**

**"But my families house is separated from it by about 30 more minutes."**

**Something very freighting then happened. She began to cry into his shoulder while he continued on trying not to laugh at her dramatic outburst.**

 

* * *

-

-  
  
_"My name is Yvette."_  
  
_"I'm (Y/n)."_  
  
_"I've noticed you've been here for a few months now. May I?"_  
  
_"Go ahead, everybody does it. Yeah. I recently came to live with my sister-in-law."_

  
_"You're very beautiful."_  
  
_"Thank you."_  
  
_"Your baby will be very beautiful too."_  
  
_"Maybe. I just hope they have all their fingers and toes."_  
  
_"I'm sure she will have all her cute little fingers and toes."_  
  
_"Haha. My husband wants a girl. But it's anyone's guess."_

_-_

_-_

(Y/n) woke up sweating and freezing seeing her covers had fallen on the floor again. She groaned at the terrible remembrance she had dreamt almost every night for the past month. So much she attempted to quit sleeping by working more. Only having her exhausted, moody with the habit of falling asleep in her office.

Her visits with Mike had stopped so she had no clue what was going on with him. She decided it was not her place to take care of him or to have anything to do with him. Sure, on paper they had still been technically married after all the years of not seeing one another. People called her Ms. not Mrs. Zacharias to the point she forgot that wasn't her family name. It was really her who didn't feel like changing it, the only person who knew was Nile and some higher ups, but none of them talked about it. So most never really questioned it.

All she hoped was that he was eating enough and listening to the nurses.

* * *

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever and is short but I'll have the next one up sooner! Thank you for the kudos and comment if you feel like it. :)

Mike woke up screaming again, to a pair of burly men in white strapping his arms and torso down for the third time that week. His nightmares had began occurring again ever since (Y/n) stopped seeing him as frequently as she had. Soon after being strapped he was left alone breathing rapidly until finally he just inhaled the cold dry air.

For a while he had believed that entire month and a half had been a dream. Why in this world would she come and see his now lame self? There was no explantation for it.

Maybe the stress of the titan shifters had altered her mind and judgment. Maybe she was on some assignment to watch him or get some 'secret' information out of him. But he knew she wasn't like the corrupt MP's, she mostly dealt with the crimes of the underground city and paperwork, the jobs most others felt too superior for. They could have threatened her, but the thought of her being threatened by such fools made him smile. Reminding him of why he had fallen in love with the girl when they were both cadets. She was simply a strong woman that didn't allow anyone to walk on her.

A part of him, a strange part, simply hoped that she was just genuinely concerned for him, as any ordinary wife would be with her severely injured husband. He wanted her to hold him and kiss him and cry. To beg his forgiveness and to be together again. She had cried though, and he didn't like it at all.

Most likely though (Y/n) had not believed Mike was the injured one Hanji had sent the report on. Ready to verify her suspicion, but being stumped at the surprise of it really being Mike with his body wrapped up and legs mangled, painfully forced into splints.

He closed his eyes noticing the early dawn rays coming into his dark hospital room.

* * *

 

**-**

**-**

**-**

**_No!_ **

**_Stop!_ **  
  
**_No!_**

**_No!_ **

**_Make it stop! Somebody! Anybody..._ **  
  
**He was screaming and crying and reliving those agonizing moments of pain that felt like hours.**  
  
**_Please...I can't....!!_ **  
  
**_This isn't supposed to happen._ **  
  
**_I still...I can't die...not yet._ **  
  
**_Not here at least...._ **

**Everything began getting darker for him, until he couldn't feel or hear anything.**  
  
**Mike began remembering his childhood, running around the fields instead of doing his chores.**  
  
**His stern but loving mother.**

 **The father he hoped to be as tall as, but forever remained 2 inches (5cm) away from his 6'7 (200.66cm) height.**  
  
**His older sister Heidi.**  
  
**The first and only dog he hid from everyone.**  
  
**Then finally when he left to join the cadet corps at 13 and his parents refused to speak to him ever again for abandoning their hopes of him taking over the family business.**  
  
**The odd scent that lingered in the air the entire time when he had arrived surrounded by various other people. It burned his nostrils. But was pleasant and was not making the best first impression by causing Mike to start sniffing all around.**

**-**

  
**_That nice odor is really strong in here._ He thought as he stepped into the room he and plenty of other were sent to after they ran out of the available uniforms.**

**Suddenly he tripped over himself getting in the crowded line but catching himself with the person in front of him before falling over.**

  
**"Watch it, your not the only person who's size they ran out of." A girl with long hair cascading down her back snapped at him after he had roughly bumped into her. She frowned at his rude behavior and turned away from him with her arms crossed and nose in the air. She wore a really nice dress that stopped below her knees and a bored expression on her pretty face.**  
  
**_What a brat. What's someone like her doing here? That smell though...it's coming from her..._ **

**Without thinking he stuck his nose directly on top of her head into her voluminous hair.**

**"Hey! Whats your problem?!" She harshly swung her head up hitting his nose painfully causing him to stumble back and knock over everyone else behind him in the line.**

**"All of you calm down or I'll make sure your first day in training is far less pleasant than you could ever imagine!" A woman at the table writing down the measurements of everyone still needing a uniform yelled loudly and harshly enough for everyone to shut up.**

**Mike held his shirt to his bleeding nose, no longer thinking of the intoxicating scent from the mean girl.**

**"Okay, and you are?"**

**"(Y/n) (L/n)"**

**"(L/n)? Your father was one of our greatest graduates! I hope you know we will have an extra eye on you missy, show all your classmates and your late father what your made of." The woman happily joked at the frowning girl.**

**She said nothing the entire time she let them measure her, while the few began to gossip about her apparently dead MP father.**

**Mike couldn't help but envy the person running their hands over her feminine figure , he hadn't really noticed any girls he found appealing where he was from. This girl may have been off putting with her crossed arms and stingy attitude but she was actually really cute to him.**

**_I never got to tell her...I was a too much of a coward._**

  
-

-

  
**_"Mike!"_ **

**_"Captain!"_ **

**_"Mike!"_ **

**He woke up to distant voices....was heaven real? Were his parents here?**  
  
**He was numb and cold.**

 **Never had he felt so heavy as if a building was on top of him.**  
  
**The voices continued and he began to hear his name again.**  
  
**He then shut his eyes at the blinding sun before feeling his body be lifted up and head drop back roughly.**

**-**

**-**

**"Mike..."**

 

**"Mike is that you?"**

 

_**That voice...it can't be.**_

 

**He really was dead.**

 

**The devil must have been having fun with him.**

 

* * *

After hours of sweating and shaking around in his bed that he was still strapped to he began to breathe steadily. Mike then woke up late in the afternoon, his stomach painfully growling again. He began to lift himself up to call for a nurse before feeling something heavy on his chest.

Someones big head and arm on his chest. A hand pressing gently into his ribs that were still sore.

"You haven't been eating have you? Idiot."

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I had finished it a few days ago but then the next day saw what I had added didn't save so I had to start over. :/ (Its probably full of mistakes which I'll fix later.)
> 
> Thank you for the kudos! 
> 
> Comment if you'd like or have any suggestions or request or advice and or questions.

 

**Months had passed since Mike had gone off back to the Survey Corps base.**

**How did she end up here?**

**Her training, her dedication, all for nothing. She made up her mind to be a scout after the death of her MP father. To attempt to see what he once admitted to her he was to afraid to see.**

**Now she was 5 months pregnant , cleaning the dishes in the Zacharius house living with Mikes last and only family , Heidi, whom she came to discover was his older sister. A woman who was most likely the tallest woman (Y/n) had ever known. Also one of the most beautiful and frightening. She was soft spoken but also really weird.**

**She would bump her head against (Y/n)s own, tease her about her height and lift her up like a child without warning. Once Heidi had made her so angry out of rage and hormones she swung her fist but it was swiftly caught by Heidi in her long slim hands.**

**"I hope that child isn't as frail as you darling, otherwise I'd have to question if it really is my brothers."**

**(Y/n) was agape at that statement, not sure if she was more offended at being called frail or possibly unfaithful. Even if she knew it was obviously teasing by Heidi it still annoyed (Y/n).**

**All (Y/n) ever did was walk around the house, cook and clean while Heidi worked in the towns lumber mill. Heidi would come home and kneel down to greet (Y/n) stomach. Having her ear up against her bump, her long arms wrapped around (Y/n) to keep her still. All the while (Y/n) hummed for the annoying and awkward moment to be over, though it had become part of her now daily routine.**

**(Y/n) didn't understand why Heidi, Mike and pretty much everyone else was so excited. It was just a baby. After being 5 months (y/n) still was unsure of it, but knew it was too late to take back. Guilt weighed her down at what a terrible mother she would be to Mikes poor kid.**

**She didn't want to raise a baby. She wanted to go back and fight titans like she was meant to. What was she supposed to do anyway really?**

**_It's born...you give it food... I guess just make sure it doesn't die..._**

**(Y/n) stared down at her now large stomach, she hadn't felt  much from it but knew that something was going on in there.**

**_Maybe it'll be different when your here._ **

**There was knocking at the door.**

**Knocking?**

**The house was 30 minutes away from the town, longer if you didn't know where you were going.**

**“Oh, hello Yvette…what are you doing all the way out here?”**

* * *

 

"Why are you here?"  
  
Mike asked (Y/n) as she pulled up a basket that was on the floor.  
  
"I...missed you." She said without looking at him.  
  
"Why? You left me again as you enjoy doing." Mike said to her bitterly, she sat on the chair near him. Getting out items from the basket that were wrapped up food. It smelled expensive.

  
"Shut up. You make it easy to leave." She snapped suddenly. Mixing some oats and milk in a bowl.

  
"So its back to that again?" He sighed closing his eyes. Making (Y/n) frown.  
  
"I did come here to talk. And I wasn't running or leaving you again. We aren't back together or anything. We haven't been together for years."   
  
"You still have my name."  
  
"I just didn't want to go through all the paper work to change it idiot." (Y/n) raised her voice as Mike narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Don't call me an idiot." He said as gently as he could.  
  
"Sorry. I'm just angry. You know I turn into a fowl mouthed boar when I'm upset." (Y/n) attempted to calm down as she looked at the food in front of her she brought for Mike.  
  
"Do I make you upset still?" Mike asked her. Noting her silence as she absent minded mixed mush in a bowl.  
  
"Why would you? I'm just annoyed your not following the doctors orders."  
  
"I have no appetite. The medicine sees to that."  
  
"It doesn't matter you need to force it down. Otherwise you'll waste away." (Y/n) felt her temper flare up trying to inhale to calm down while trying not to show though she knew Mike noticed with his mouth now in a small scowl.  
  
"Why do you care?" He whispered bitterly.  
  
"Because I'm your wife! And you'll do as I say and get better or else!"  
  
"Or else what?!" He yelled but soon groaned at moving his arm too roughly. (Y/n) almost reached for him before quickly snapping back.

There was a loud slam of the wooden door of the hospital room.  
  
"Are we interrupting?"  
  
(Y/n) gasped and in shock dropped the tray of food she had in her lap. There in the doorway stood Hange, Levi and Erwin.  
  
"(Y/n)?" Erwin stared at her confused.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Levi looked bored and morose as always.  
  
"Nothing. I was just leaving." She nervously got up. Even (Y/n) couldn't explain why she was so nervous infront of these people that weren't even strangers.  
  
"Tch. With that food all on the floor making a mess? You'd better clean it up." The dark haired man scowled.  
  
"Ahhhhhh!!!!!" Hanji began screaming and soon jumped to wrap her arms around (Y/n). "I knew it! I knew you still cared for your husband!"  
  
"Husband?"  
  
"Levi, you've met (Y/n), didn't you ever wonder about her last name?" Hanji said as (Y/n) shoved her away, but Hanjis iron grip held onto her.  
  
"I've never cared really. But I do remember them humping like dogs whenever they had the chance. Disgusting." Levi scoffed, Hanji finally letting (Y/n) go.  
  
"Haha. That wasn't humping Levi. They were making love. Hey where do you think your going!?" (Y/n) froze feeling everyones eyes on her as she reached the doorway.  
  
"I don't want to interrupt any of your survey corps conversation." (Y/n) said hoping they'd just let her leave.

  
"We are just visiting with Mike. There's no point to asking him about what happened, he can't remember a thing." Erwin said sitting down on what she thought was her chair.  
  
"Yeah so just go on doing whatver you were doing with him. But if your going to leave clean your mess up." Levi said kicking the basket (Y/n) left on the ground.  
  
"Hey look this basket is full of muffins!" Hanji yelled out excitedly distracting everyone long enough for (Y/n) to rush out.

* * *

**"Yvette, did the sign I nailed to the tree not reach your midget view?"**

**Directly behind Yvette and appearing seemingly out of nowhere was the 6'1 Heidi Zacharius, with her amber eyes shooting daggers at the small woman that had made the awful mistake of stepping onto her porch. (Y/n) had never seen Heidi so agitated , she did remember when they would go to town and Yvette would attempt to greet or follow them Heidi would immediately shift her usual calm mood into a dark attitude.**

**"Only Zacharius family and invited guest are allowed on this side of the woods. Any trespassers will be dealt with accordingly." Heidi darkly stated to the older woman who faltered from seeing the tall woman she** **obviously had not expected.**

**"I just wanted to bring (Y/n) some food a pregnant woman should be eating." Yvette muttered out sounding too innocent for comfort.**

**"What I feed her is sufficient for a child that will bear the Zachairus name, we really can't have them being as small as (Y/n) let alone yourself." Heidi strode over and stood over the grey-haired Yvette like a tower.**

**"(Y/n)** **doesn't mind my advice don't you (Y/n)?" Yvette smiled to the pregnant girl who was now very uncomfortable feeling her sister-in-laws temper. Taken a bit aback (Y/n) shook her head, never really saying anything to the old woman other than a hello when they passed through town. She was making the whole situation worse and wished she would take the obvious hint and leave, worried of Heidi getting in trouble with the authorities for harming Yvette.**

**"Well, we don't need advice from an ancient dwarf." Heidi then shoved the woman harshly and waited outside for her to disappear into the trees from her view. With a deep sigh she turned around changing her mood completely when seeing (Y/n), who was still a bit flustered by the whole encounter with Yvette.**

**"Oh, hello little cub how was your day today? _Ihre Mutter schlafen den ganzen Tag bin ich sicher_." Heidi laughed as she kneeled down to be close to (Y/n)s stomach.**

**"I didn't know there was a sign."**

**"There isn't , why waste nails on her? But she should know she isn't welcome." Heidi sighed as she let her head rest against (Y/n) pregnant belly.**

**"Thanks. I like how upfront you are." (Y/n) picked at her nails waiting for Heidi to finish her daily greeting of the baby inside her.**

**"What other way is there to be with such idiots?"**

**"She is very persistent. And annoying."**

**"IF I could have her put away I would,** **she's insane. The reason she moves funny is because of me."**

**"Oh." (Y/n) raised her brows slightly shocked at the confession.**

**"She likes to take peoples kids and babysit them without permission.  She's never been caught doing anything malicious. But, a missing girl is suspected to have gone missing because of her about a decade ago. There is no proof, but nobody doubts her guilt. I'd rather keep her away from you and the newest Zacharius in over 30 years."**

**"Why aren't there more? Zachairus people I mean." (Y/n) asked curiously wanting to change the subject.**

**"We tend to be picky. My father was 42 when he married my mother. There was this rule about tall people a century or so ago. Rather ridiculous. And we tend to produce mostly girls who run off and marry and take other names. I'm sure you have a girl in your belly right now. Which is why I refer to her as a her." Heidi then began to hum a song.**

**"Why don't you have kids?" (Y/n) asked. Heidi was healthy, not any older than her or Mike and was very attractive. It was odd that she herself didn't have children, she seemed to really enjoy the ones they passed in town and was obsessed with whoever was growing inside of her womb.**

**"Oh, I don't really like men...or marriage, I do like kids. I could have just been a mother out of wedlock. But really I couldn't do that. Besides I'd much rather be an aunt."**

**"Is that why they stopped talking to Mike?" Heidi then stood up stretching her long limbs as she walked over to the kitchen to remove her work boots.**

**"Yes, they hoped he would just stay here and have a large family. There was a girl set up for him by our father for Mike to be married to. But his dreams and aspirations of leaving the walls were always the most important for him." Heidi shrugged.**

**"Oh, he never mentioned those things. He did like avoiding speaking of his family."**

**"Why were you a scout? You seem too persnickety for the military." Heidi watched as (Y/n) put the dishes away.**

**"Persnickety? What the heck does that mean?" (Y/n) asked.**

**"Girly, dainty, delicate need I go on?" Heidi leaned back in her chair placing her now bare feet on the kitchen table.**

**"What?! I CAN!!...well, as soon as this baby is out I will show you and beat you at any demanding physical challenge! I was the top of my graduating class for more then my smarts just like my father! And commander Keith Shadis said I was one of the best! Not to my face but to others! I've had four solo titan kills and various others involving my squad under my belt! "**

**"Who's Keith Shadis? Someone Mike should know about?" Heidi said in a bored voice, letting out a yawn, seeming to have ignored (Y/n)s outburst, unimpressed by anything (Y/n) claimed to be capable of.**

**"Ahhhh!" (Y/n) yelled out frustrated tossing a rag on the floor in a fit as Heidi began to hum beginning to think. As if (Y/n) wasn't upset at all.**

**"I want chicken soup tonight. Did you check on Ivy outside?"**

**"Yeah, she's so fat she can't move. Like me." The pregnant girl sighed calming down. Her hormones driving her crazy.**

**"Perfect. Don't worry your dainty little hands, I'll go get her ready."**

**"No! I overfed that thing and I'm going to go chop its head off." (Y/n) stormed outside not letting Heidi know she had never butchered a chicken, or any animal for that matter.**

**-**

**-**

**-**

**"Get back here you headless monstrosity!" (Y/n) was on the ground dragging herself back up..**

**"Ow!" (Y/n) sat up grabbing her now burning knee that was dusty with dirt causing the blood coming out to appear brighter.**

**"(Y/n)? What are you doing?" A deep voice caused (Y/n) to freeze and turn. Seeing the large figure of Mike above her.**

**"Ahhh! Mike! What are you doing here?? You weren't supposed to be back until next week."**

**Mike kneeled down trying to help (Y/n) up but stopping noticing her bleeding knee.**

**"What happened?" He asked looking angry.**

**"I cut Ivys head off then out of nowhere she jumped and freaked me out so I fell backwards, then I tripped again landing on my knee trying to get my fat body up. Now look she's running around all over!"**

**They both looked over to the now unmoving dead chicken body, with its head hanging halfway off,  across the back porch surrounded by blood.**

**"Why is your face bleeding?" Mike asked concerned, running his thumb under her eye seeing messy scratches on her.**

**"Oh, thats when I grabbed her and tried holding her still, her feet were just flapping. Doesn't hurt though. Just stings."**

**Mike stared at his wife dumbfounded, then at the knife she used which was a pocket knife, then at the dead chicken and finally back at (Y/n) noticing how large her stomach had become since last time, he sighed glad she wasn't seriously hurt. His thoughts were going a mile a minute having had thought she had passed out from being pregnant when he saw her on the ground when he arrived.**

**"Your supposed to do it with an axe on that stump over there...not with that dull thing. HEIDI!!"**

**"Huh? Oh, hello brother." Heidi appeared from the top opening of the Dutch door chewing on a carrot while peeling a turnip.**

**"Why did you make (Y/n) butcher the chickens?!" Mike yelled angry  and annoyed at his obviously unconcerned sister. He held (Y/n) close to him trying to pick her up but being as careful as he could seeing she was much larger.**

**"I didn't make her, she wanted to." Heidi then looked out to the back suddenly dropping the vegetable in her hand and nearly choking on the one in her mouth before swinging the rest of the door open in a panic.**

**"(Y/n)!!! WHAT THE HELL?! You wasted all the blood! We needed it for the intestine stew tomorrow!"**

 

* * *

 Several hours had passed before (Y/n) came back after sunset, certain everyone had left. She slowly opened Mikes room seeing that nobody but him was there.

"Why'd you go? Hanji really wanted to talk to you." Mike asked sitting up against the headboard.

"I don't feel like talking to them. I'm just here for you really." (Y/n) walked in carrying a small round container.

"Those muffins were really dry. Levi seemed to like them though." Mike told her as she sat next to him beginning to open the container.

"Hmm. I brought this soup they were selling out in the market area tonight."

"I never blamed you for Heidi's death." Mike said to her out of nowhere.

"I know. Your not that kind of person. I blame myself though. If it weren't for me Heidi could still be here." (Y/n) remained composed even though she didn't want to talk about the past.

"Well. We don't know that for a certainty. Besides,  I know she would much rather you be taking care of me over her taking care of me. Not that she would. I had a dream of her kicking me off this bed telling me to walk off my injuries."

"Hmmm. That's nice. Eat this soup. It was freaking expensive." (Y/n) held a spoon to Mike who pushed it away nearly spilling it everywhere.

"I thought about Asteria."

(Y/n) stopped and stared at him for what felt like hours. Taking a really long a deep breath that echoed in the room.

"I try not to think of her." She admitted to him feeling shame overcome her.

"She would be around 8 or 9 right?" Mike asked, he knew the answer but wanted to know (Y/n)s reaction.

"I don't know." She silently said so Mike couldn't hear her.

"It was when I was being pulled apart by those titans. I wondered if I would be allowed into heaven and if she would be there. Maybe she was with Heidi. Heidi was really religious despite her personality." Mike felt relief being able to tell her what had happened. It wasn't that he was keeping it to himself, he just couldn't get himself to say it to anyone that wasn't (Y/n). Not even his most trusted friends.

"I thought Erwin said you didn't remember anything."

Nothing was said for the rest of the time it took Mike to finish eating the soup (Y/n) had brought him. She had fed him, both just going with the flow of everything. Mike allowing (Y/n) to feed him even though he was now capable of lifting up his own spoon. Afterwards she wiped his mouth, her eyes wide and his with a slight dullness to them.

(Y/n) couldn't stop herself from thinking how handsome he still was. When they were young she honestly thought nothing of his physical appearance other than he was a giant of a man. He would always tell her how beautiful she was. (Y/n) never denied or acknowledged her attractiveness. It was just something she thought little of, which included the appearance of others. As she began to fall for Mike as he said all those years ago that eventually she would, (Y/n) began to notice his masculine features and compare them to others only to come to the conclusion nobody would ever compare. As silly as it seemed.

Her favorite parts of him weren't his muscles or eyes (though they were a nice bonus), it always was for her the curve of his large nose, how straight his teeth were and how his beard felt against her hands, face or neck.

*

_**"What do you find most beautiful about me Mike?" (Y/n) asked one evening after coming back to the base from drinking with some of the girls.** _

_**"I like how you're rear is firm but still soft, also how even though you're so muscular your breast are still full and round. And you have the most beautiful hair of anyone." Mike said casually as if he was telling somebody the time. Not noticing the fuming face of his tipsy beloved.** _

_**"...."** _

_**A loud slap was heard around the barracks.** _

*

(Y/n) frowned at her memory of that evening, she felt rather embarrassed to have hit Mike. Even if he deserved it. She was then pulled away from her old thoughts feeling large fingers wrapped around her wrist.

  
"Could you stay the evening?" Mike said grabbing onto her wrist tightly as if she would leave forever again.

  
"For what?" She asked him, seeing the worry in his teal eyes.

  
"I want you to sing me to sleep. I haven't been sleeping at all."

  
"Sing?" (Y/n) was confused by his odd request.

  
"Yeah. That song I like...about the field or whatever."

(Y/n) laughed briefly, her singing was always an annoying subject. She never sung for pleasure, it was a nervous habit of hers from childhood that she was now glad to have controlled. It was her way to calm down and get away from any unpleasant situation. But she knew Mike always enjoyed it, especially when they were together during expeditions, she would be so nervous and afraid the only way to relax was to sing or hum a song her mother sung to her.

  
"I haven't sung in years." She admitted to him.

  
"I'll eat all the crap they feed me if you do."

"Fine, I'll stay tonight." (Y/n) agreed sounding defeated but not upset about it. That was until Mike pulled on her wrist causing her to fumble close to him.

  
"You have to hold me like you used to."

He told her and she looked at him surprised, but silently agreed with a quick nod and began to position herself near him and the edge of the bed until she was practically lying next to him. Mike then placed his head on her chest causing a light blush on the woman who had no real reason to blush seeing as this man was her husband still.

With most of the bandages and cast off (Y/n) could see the stitches of various sizes all over his scalp some going around his ears, then to his shoulder which were the worst. They looked painful. She blew out the oil lamp before beginning to stroke Mikes head, careful not to put pressure on any injury his growing hair was now covering. (Y/n) began to hum a tune trying to remember the exact words of the old song.

  
_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away...._

  
_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray,_

  
_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_  
_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

  
_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_  
_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song I used is "Rue's Lullaby" there are many versions of it but my favorite is this one : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suJqCw3SAZw


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter. I am stuck bad with writers block on this one but I do plan to finish it. 
> 
>  
> 
> I've also come up with more Mike/Reader stories so I'm working on those too.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading and sorry for being so slow :p.

**Mike awoke to (Y/n) sobbing again.**  
  
**It had only been the third time in 4 months. She had been getting better. He knew there was no cure for her or his grief on what happened. They tried to avoid talking about it.. But like she had furocuilsy told him, he didn't have to wear the evidence under his shirt.**  
  
**She hated him seeing her without a shirt, even though he assured her he didn't care about the scars.**  
  
**She was having nightmares again.**  
  
**It had been half a year since the attack. She had returned to the Survey corps, though having been advised heavily not to. She performed beyond expectations when the commander made her take a difficult physical having believed she would fail.**  
  
**Mike had gotten a private office with a bedroom they now shared. He was not thrilled about her returning to combat but more than happy that she was just there with him.**  
  
  
**"I keep seeing her heinous face in my sleep. I keep reliving that morning. When she cut into me. I couldn't move at all." She panted out.**  
  
**"I'm here. I'm here with you right now. I won't let anyone touch you." Mike held her close before being harshly pushed away.**  
  
**"It doesn't matter anymore.  It doesn't matter what you or anyone does it already happened and nothing is going to change it!"**

 

* * *

  
   
It took (Y/n) a few moments to realize she was not in her own bedroom but still in the hospital with Mike in his bed.  
  
What had gotten her awake was movement and an odd noise, the room was dark due to the cloudy evening so little light was coming from the window.  
  
She moved her head, a little scared that maybe a rat was crawling around. Until she finally realized the noise was coming from Mike.  
  
Mike was crying.  
  
(Y/n) didn't know what to do. But stare at his dark form lightly sobbing, shaking and mumbling incoherently.  
  
"Mike?"  
  
There was no response from him.  
  
"Mike."  
  
(Y/N) ran her hand across his now damp face. Realizing then that he was still asleep. Crying in his sleep.  
  
"Mike wake up." She shook him which is when he tried to move away from her.  
  
.

  
(Y/n) didn't know how it happened but one moment she was attempting to calm Mike down from his hyperventilating and the next moment she was kissing him. His lips were chapped and dry and his growing beard felt itchy. His breath wasn't the best either but at that moment (Y/n) didn't care as she continued to deeply kiss the man. It was a pleasant feeling to be so intimate with him.

Mikes breathing became more steady and his heart beat settled. (Y/n) caressed his face before breaking away whispering into his ear.

  
"It's okay Mike, I'm right here..."

  
  
"Nanaba?" 

  
(Y/n) froze. Her ears began to ring and it felt as if the entire world had just ended.

Again.  
  
Mike then opened his teal eyes staring directly at her own (e/c) wide ones.  
  
Without pause or thought (Y/n) leaped from the bed tripping over the sheets around her and landing loudly on the wooden floor but without stopping got up and ran out of the room and hospital.  
  
If she wasn't so determined to get out she would have heard Mike calling for her along with the loud earth shaking noise of his body falling out of bed.

   
The night air was cold. Nobody but a few young military police doing the night watch, mostly standing around as (Y/n) ran past them. Wishing she could just run forever. Finally arriving to her apartment building.  
  
She slammed the door of her home taking in the familiar atmosphere and warmth.  
  
It was dark but she was able to navigate to her bedroom and land on her large comfortable bed. She had never missed it so much. The silk sheets and thick fluffy pillows that cost a fortune. She shivered into them attempting to forget all that had happened. Soon falling asleep to more irritating remembrance of her past life.

_-_

_-_

_**"Go away."** _

_**"Its me"** _

_**"I don't care go away!"** _

_**-** _  

_**-** _

_**"So, you are leaving?"** _

_**"Yeah, Nile owed me one."** _

_**"Your just going to be doing paperwork and stopping bum fights now?"** _

 

_**"I've grown sick of all this death."** _

 

_**"What does that mean for us?"** _

 

_**"Frankly, I don't care anymore."** _

 

* * *

_Just do what you do best. Act like nothing happened. You can't_ _abandon him yet again over something so stupid. You don't even really care. Thats probably one of the dozen others he's been with. Its a good thing he said it too otherwise you would have continued kissing him like a dumbass._

(Y/n) opened the door to the room to immediately see Mike awake and wide eyed when he saw her.

"(Y/n)" He nearly tried getting out of the bed but she then saw his legs were strapped down and uncovered, still painful to look at but easy to ignore.  
  
"Hey Mike." She said casually, too casually even she could hear it.  
  
Mike sat up with his arm in a new sling.  
  
"(Y/n)." He repeated as if he couldn't believe she was there again.  
  
"What happened to your arm?" She asked curious , wondering if he did something to re-injur it after it had healed well enough to not need a sling.  
  
"Last night..." His voice was worrisome and hoarse.  
  
"What about last night?" (Y/n) walked over to her chair.  
  
"You were here with me." He stared at her with that crazed wide eyed look waiting for her to respond. He waited as she became comfortable on the wooden chair.  
  
"Mmmm...nope. The nurses knocked you out and I went home as usual."   
  
"It felt so real." Mike said looking down trying to gather his thoughts.  
  
"Did you have a nightmare?" (Y/n) asked him.  
  
"I guess so. I dreamt I was trying to catch you from running away after I called you by another name."

(Y/n) stared at him blankly and he stared back in silence before jumping from the loud laugh she let out.  
  
"Haha. That's rich Mike. As if I'm in my 20's again." She calmed down taking a deep breath seeing Mike was still thinking to himself. (Y/n) stared at him before letting out a sigh and taking his hand in hers trying to keep his attention.  
  
"Okay Mike. Here it is. I was worried about you. I came here because I obviously still care for you even after all these years apart. I thought you'd die and I wouldn't care but really if you did die I wouldn't know what I would do. The world is such an ugly place. I liked knowing that you were still here on it making it bearable as you always do for me, even when your not around." (Y/n) admitted to him still too casual that even though it was the truth it felt very forced and insincere, but he just continued with his thinking expression before finally looking at her.

"Thank you. I like having you here even if we aren't getting along."

"Yeah, I sorta do too." She smiled sweetly that Mike nearly tilted his head in bewilderment. (Y/n) could be the most precious human to ever exist but it was rare and it certainly didn't look like that. He knew better than anyone still after so many years.

 "(Y/n), you were here last night....you sung me to sleep."

"No idea what your talking about Mike." She shrugged and became quiet.

"Yes you do now stop this! Your almost 40 and you still ignore your emotions?" Mike raised his voice furrowing his brows as she sat there silent still.

"Fine I was here and then I left when you fell asleep." She lifted her legs up on the chair wrapping her arms around her knees and looking away from Mike.

"No you didn't. You kissed me." He said waiting for her response, she looked at him bored and then looked back at the wall.

"No, maybe it was Nanaba that came here and kissed you after I left." She said in a teasing tone. (Y/n) had known the woman for a year before she left the SC, she was one of the newbees on her squad that she helped improve. 

"I don't see how a dead woman could come and do that. Especially one that I considered like a sister."

"Maybe it was just a dream." She sighed bringing her legs back down. "I have weird dreams too."

"You didn't brush your teeth this morning." He said flaring his nostrils slightly.

"I woke up late and just drank some water. I haven't eaten anything other than oats so..."

"I can smell myself all over you. And you all over me. Im sure you can too."

"I do visit you a lot."

"Why would you kiss me?" Mike was losing his patience.

"I wouldn't." She spat at him.

"(Y/N)!"  He screamed causing her to jump in the chair she soon got up out of.

"Okay fine! I did kiss you! I was half asleep and you were crying what else should I have done? I should have left thats what. But I didn't because I'm an idiot!" Her voice became loud and authoritative as if she was yelling at her subordinates. Mike still kept eye contact with her, he wasn't afraid or intimidated by her.

"Can't we just ignore it Mike?" She sighed crossing her arms trying to calm down from her outburst.

"No."

(Y/n) huffed walking out of the room trying to think without him staring at her.

 

* * *

 


End file.
